I'm Moving...

i know i haven't posted anything since february. well, i've been into low circumstances and i just couldn't write after that, i tried to but the attempt to writing just magnifies the not-so-good-old feelings. so i stopped. blogspot had been the haven for all the drama which i didn't intend to from the beginning. i guess, i was too consumed up by those heartbreaking days. But yeah, in the depth of the winter, i learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. :)

that's why i decided to write again. to blog. to be back. but this time, it's tumblr time! :)  it's gonna be a feel-good  site! no more dramas. no hassle.

check out MY TUMBLR :)

what doesn't kill you can make you stronger

and now, i'm writing again.

this time, i wanna wear my heart on the sleeve. no more holding back. i wanna pour my heart out through this post. this time i really want to forgive myself and let go.

it has been a month since that crazy saturday i had with someone close to my heart. you see, i am more than "too vulnerable" around him but he told me he was just being too comfortable around me. i misinterpreted whatever kindness he has shown or i'd rather say the ugly truth - i assumed.

honestly, he was someone i never thought i'd fall for. we got closer at a time in my life when i'm trying to bounce back from a goodbye. he happened to be at a point when i wanted to create new memories in an old, familiar place, when i needed a diversion. i know, i was just enjoying his company, the attention that i get from him then little did i realize, i felt something else. i was happy again which let me think, he was happy too.

the days spent with him are all awesome. those happy days become months that lead to a year. well, he had been the biggest part of my 2011. it was all fun until i became a green eyed-monster that i shouldn't be. i have no right but i just can't control the ill feeling and that's what lead me to do something crazy. i just don't want to waste my time anymore, i thought. i wanted to know, if there was something else too on his end. how pathetic i can be?

back then, he would tell me that he haven't really enjoyed his life and i thought, i wanna be there for him. i wanna accompany him to any place he would like to go, to any thing he would like to do because i want to help him. i want him to enjoy his life. but i guess, i let myself become too much available for him that made him think, i'm gonna be there whenever and wherever he calls. i know i would. i know i can always find a way but today i have to help myself first. i need to stop.

i care a lot about him, i don't know if he knows that and right this moment, i still think of him. every minute. my heart still beats for him. i don't know if this is already love, but if it isn't. it was a lot like it. that feeling when you wanted to fight for him but couldn't because he already told you that it was all about comfort and all. it hurts but i needed to be stronger this time and accept that maybe, he's not the guy for me. that someone better is about to come if i let go now.

this is the story that bang-ed my first two months of the year 2012. i know this too shall pass. as what the song would say, "although my heart hurts now, i'll find a way to get up from the ground. coz i know, one day, i'm gonna feel again."

it's time to look forward to happy days.

hot air balloon festival 2012

february and it's the weekend ofeverything that flies!

i went to clark last feb10-11 to witness hot air balloons fire up the sky.. it's my first time!

here's some of the shots taken from my oh-so-poor point and shoot camera:

time for setting up.

while the sun is about to show, the balloons started to go up also.
i also enjoyed watching the paragliders! i wanna try that someday, too!

the cutie six-wheeler car

poor panda. he wasn't able to fly high. maybe his belly was too heavy. :(
hahahaha. next time panda, do some diet before the festival! :)

next time, when i'm going to attend this kind of festival, i hope i have a good camera on my hand na. :)

first out of town for 2012

first trip for 2012 - Zambales!!!! :)

teambuilding with my officemates! we stayed in Capones Vista:

  

best thing about this place? so peaceful.

the next day, we went island hopping. been to capones cove and anawangin cove.

our first stop was the capones cove. here's the photo:

it really is a beautiful place. the water is so clear and waves aren't that big and the sand is near-to-fine-kind-of-sand.travel time from the resort to this place is thirty minutes.

we didn't stay too long in capones cove .just took a couple of photos then headed to anawangin cove.
i'm all excited to see anawangin as i've read through the web that it really is an awesome place.
it took us another thirty minutes from capones to anawangin.

here's the anawangin cove. the beauty that this island brings is very different from capones. anawangin has pine trees that give shed to people unlike in capones where you're burned under the sun. it has beautiful mountains along the side and no big waves like in capones but to tell you, i think, anawangin is overrated. i find capones more wonderful than here.

but this trip i had? superb fun! :) there's so much to see in our country! yeah, it's more fun in the philippines!

the art of demotivation

what happens when the person who should be giving you the motivation in completing a task becomes the primary factor why your enthusiasm in finishing the job significantly decreases? will the person who demotivates you can still change and help you bring back your drive?

this was the question raised during the week of developing you when the topic motivation is being tackled.

i guess, that person can still change but he won't be able to motivate me again. yes, he can change and start all over again and inspire others but not me. it's because i already lost my confidence that he can help me. 

anyway, this training i took entitled "the art of demotivation" also reminded me of the person who influenced or would rather say, motivated me when i was just a newbie in the corporate world.

this guy right here was my career reviewer back then. i was inspired by how he does stuffs at work and he has this awesome memory that he can still remember what 'work issue' happened even years back and how it was resolved. at the beginning, i was so scared of him because he seems to be an angry tiger but his cool personality changed that first impression. hahaha. and i'll never forget what he told me when i was off-tracked on a task - that is, to continue doing what i have to do and never be afraid to ask question just for the purpose of excelling.  (back reading my blog today, i realized that he had been already a topic on one of my posts - conversation on mentors)

how about you? who motivates/demotivates you? :)

God never leaves you empty-handed

i am going through some motions these past few days and it feels like forever. rain seems to keep on pouring down real hard, it breaks my heart and my mind stops functioning. anyway, i'll just write about it another time.

but something about this day somehow lessens this whatever monster i am feeling. i gained a prayer partner.
in the middle of the busy schedule, i found myself creating an e-mail for someone whom i don't usually hang out with. most of the time, our conversation would be those normal hi and hellos when you see someone at the hallways. i was asking for a little favor, to pray for me. immediately, he popped a message offering his ears and a new year-treat, a coffee. :) right away i said yes. i needed that. so badly. it was just a thirty-minute talk but so heartwarming. i felt a little better after.

in the evening, i'm still preoccupied yet i tried to keep myself focused on stuffs. all of a sudden my chaos friends started pinging me, for some chit chats and to finalize our chaos two-year-planned-dream and finally it's happening! then another friend popped in fb telling me about our plans for KP and that it is happening soon as well! then there's P., whom i haven't had any conversations with for five months, i think, suddenly wants some catching up. haha. all the people i love at one night - it made me smile.

then i thought, although i'm kinda off-track this week, God never left me with nothing. He always makes me feel that there are still people around me who cares so much. that i should have given my attention to those people who matter and let go of those people who just makes you feel whatever.

thank You. :)

♥

“I realized I wasn't going to find a man until I was willing to expose myself to possible harm, to assume the risks of rejection and betrayal and heartbreak that came along with caring about someone. Someday, I promised myself, I would be ready for that kind of risk.” 

-Lisa Kleypas

thank you, 2011!

for the many happiness i experienced this year, thank You! :)

you rock, 2011!!!! 

How sharp is your brain?

i just stumbled upon this today - Cognifit.com. The site is about training one's brain. First, there will be three stages of assessment on how sharp your cognition is, from there, you'll see on what area you're strong at and which areas need to be improved.  After you're done with the assessment, you may begin taking the exercises provided for you by Cognifit. The site will help you boost those areas wherein you scored low. You may also invite your friends and compare results with. :)

Here's my current assessment:

 I got an average score of 418. Yeah, with cognifit, this can be increased. *winks*

Planning, Divided Attention, Shifting and Spatial Perception skill are among my weaker skills and these are the skills I need to enhance. Cognifit has exercises to offer for me to improve in those areas.

Below is the definition of each area:

Working Memory - refers to the temporary storage and manipulation of the information necessary for complex cognitive  tasks such as language comprehension, learning and reasoning.

Eye Hand Coordination - is the level of sensitivity with which the hand and eye are synchronized.

Response Time - is the ability to perceive and process a simple stimulus and respond to it.

Shifitng - is a mental process during which people redirect their focused attention from one channel of information to another as quickly as possible or change the course of actions while maintaining accurate performance.

Divided Attention - is the ability to execute more than one action at a time, while paying attention to two or more channels of information or modalities.

Planning - is the ability to think ahead, to mentally anticipate the correct way to execute a task.

Spatial Perception - is the ability to evaluate how things are arranged in space, and investigate their relations in  the environment.

Try this now and let's continue sharpening our cognitive skills! :)

forever young

and today, i'm a year older but hopefully a lot wiser. :)

it was a busy and indeed a happy, happy birthday weekend for me!

i met my friend's little brother tristan. he's so adorable!!!

dati sa video ko lang siya nakikita and now na-hug ko pa siya! kids really bring perfect joy in the heart. :)

friday after work, chill mode with the best people. :)

they surprised me with this delicious cake. yummy! tumo-thoughtful din pala ang mga lokong 'to. :)


saturday was spent with chaos. wooohoo. the much awaited day ever.
double celebration since magkasunod kami ng birthday ni marc. :)

it's like the gang's reunion! after dinner, we sang our hearts out at a KTV nearby. super fun! sa music bar nako inabot ng bday ko! :)

dana even baked brownies for marc and i. coool. :) pwede ng pang business!

sunday. my big day.

it's family time, had dinner with them. simple yet heart warming one.

i so love this weekend. i got to spend one of the important events of my life with the people close to my heart.

for all the greetings, the hugs, and the love. thank you! :) 
well i guess, this is the beginning of being forever young. hahaha.

iLove Steve Jobs

i was on my way to work while listening to chico and del's TMR, it stunned me when i heard the news that steve jobs, the creative genius of Apple, already passed away a day after the iphone 4S was released. when i reached the workplace, i can't contain my emotion and suddenly burst into tears. ridiculous yet true. i cried because i felt, i loss an inspiration.

well, it is expected to happen knowing that he's been fighting with cancer but not this soon. i'm not really an apple die hard fan but still it's so sad, it broke my heart. 

two months ago, i learned about his speech in Stanford University last 2005; that speech really inspired me which made me appreciate steve jobs more .he has touched everyone's life with his wonderful works  and  his 'foolishness' changed the world exceptionally. 

now, i wonder. how would the technology be without the iMaster?

anyhow, you'll always be remembered, steve. 

cebu visit 2011

last august, i flew along with my sister and cousins to the queen city of south for a vacation. i've always wanted to see the place ever since i was a kid and i already did. :)

we stayed in crown regency hotel. it's quite far from the Mactan Aiport, the travel time from the airport to osmena blvd (where the hotel is located) is thirty minutes without traffic.

this is the view from our room which is located in the 24th floor.

just by staying here in this hotel, you can do a lot of activities already! and we have only tried a few of them --

the sky adventure!

the skywalk.

walking outside the building at 30+ floors higher from the ground and only a body harness holding you is really Oh-yeah! feeling the cool breeze at the top is so likely and the view --- city light never fails to amaze me!

it took us a while before the whole gang finally decided to try the edge coaster. it looks more heart-pounding activity than the skywalk but it's the other way around. looks can be deceiving at times. :) 

looking below (from 30+ floor) is quite scary but when you're already seated and ready for the ride - it's worthwhile!

they also have the view deck which is on the same floor as the edge coaster. beside it is the zip line.. from building to another building but time didn't allow us to try that one.

at the basement, you can find the shooting range. woohoo! guns! it excites me really coz this is one of my must-try things and cebu made it possible for me. it's not that i want to shoot people or anything. i only wanted the thrill it could give me :) sometimes, you gotta go the distance to do the things you like doing.

we wandered around cebu during the three days stay we had and it felt like i'm in manila - the surroundings, the atmosphere, it is so manila.

we went to basilica del sto nino, the baclaran church version of cebu but it is a lot bigger and really bigger than the latter. one difference this church has is that, they don't really lit the candles you offer instead you burn them wholly! cool. 

of course, we're in cebu, we've got to see the magellan's cross. 

we were told to never miss the TOP View Deck and we didn't! we rented a cab to bring us uphill. Manong june, our driver even told us that from the top view deck, all you need is a one-peso ride and you're already in heaven. hahaha. oh well, i thought it was just a joke until we reached the summit- so high and almost heaven. :)

this is cebu at night. :) 

our second day was spent in Plantation Bay. the resort is so beautiful and was invaded by koreans during our visit. :) it's a huge place and really so blue and white.

the beach here didn't appeal to my eyes but the lagoons are already enough.

this is me with my cousins and sister having a good time racing/kayaking :) 

there are other things you can do in the resort aside from swimming and kayaking. there's the archery, biking and other sports activities. a day is just not enough. 

and this is my cebu experience. it was all good and memorable.

to be happy. to love. to live.

we always have a choice. be happy or sad. love or hate. live or die.

yesterday, i really hated someone only to realize that hate does no good to me. it consumed all my energy and let my precious time be wasted. i could have used my head instead. to understand that people, at times, can be really such a disappointment and so just had not let the negative emotions kill me.

so today, i choose to be happy. to love. to live. to do things that make my heart rage in a positive way.  :)

...

♥